Maybe not even values, but Values, with capital letters. Alright, seems a bit overdramatized, but still...
So once I had a post about "leaving" in a different way, how bad, sad and furious I felt about the whole thing, and I took it way too personal. Altough the case was more complicated...
Time after time I have to look back on my work and reassess al those guiding principles I live my life with - both professionally and generally.
However, nowadays I kinda feel like I'm too oldschool, a bit inflexible, maybe even rigid, or timid? I don't want to admit "my things" as bad/disadvantageous attributes. I see them as a good basic of a reliable and responsible person and/or workforce for most of associations I could think of. I hold on. I stick. I stay. I help. I give as much as I can, and I put my tasks on the top of my priorities, 99% of the cases even way before my own interests. And I don't want to kick up my unwritten rules. Plus I want to give a good example and talk about them sometimes.
Sometimes I even think that I live with a software of our grandparents. I don't want to give up, I don't want to quit, and I certainly do everything to avoid others to feel disappointed in me. I hardly never let my feeling burst out just like that, altough my sense of justice sometimes screams inside. (Even that one time I "shouted out" here, I sipped it back and I felt shame about my feelings afterwards.
Nevertheless those feelings were real and valid.)
You know what? I do miss those values from others. And they are covering themselves... so inncocent, these cases are just happening with them, they just coundn't make a change on anything. Hypocrites. They leave for comfy reasons. They give up general principles because it was too hard to follow them. They could be cowards, maybe even bad-temprered, they could be also too lazy... who knows?
But I want to make things better. I want changes in there: take respontibility! Get yourself together and give your best! Stay solid and rational. Be diplomatic. Be professional. Follow the RULES, but think as wide as you can IN THE SYSTEM (because they who know the boundaries can actually get out of the box). And listen, it's important to listen to others. Consider your choices and decide not only for your comfort, but for the others too. Remember what you've done, said, thought. And again: take more responsibility! And stay HUMAN in the classical meaning. Be generous, because in the end of the day this is the only thing what lets you stare into the mirror eye-to-eye, and then lets you sleep with the thought that you've done everything the best way you could. These are the real values - in my eyes.
